what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
