I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Randomize
