Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
