i just had sex bonerless
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
