How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Randomize
