He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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