We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
vagina is talking i cant
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
