Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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