I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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