I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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