Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Randomize
