Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
and i looked up. we had an audience...
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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