Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
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