apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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