it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
two words...techno handjob
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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