Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
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