and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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