i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
