question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
