My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize