she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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