She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
