I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
