I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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