I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
