Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
She told me I should be a condom model.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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