Do vagina's smell?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize