We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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