It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
