You're my little dorito
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
