She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize