Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Every concussion has its silver lining
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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