i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
