I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
