everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
You ate ashes out of my bong
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
