Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
