You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
