how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
