i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
