Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
