I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
