Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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