On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
