Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Randomize
