Having a random hookup so left but love u
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Randomize
