Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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