All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
