WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
