windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
