i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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