Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I AM VODKA MAN
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
