Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
