My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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