i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
