Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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