all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Drake has all the answers
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
