Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
