...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
