FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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