i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
