Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
