Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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