worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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