Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Randomize
