You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
