from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
please come you make the beer taste better
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Randomize
