He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
did i walk over a car last night?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Randomize
