Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
