3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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