I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
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