Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
