Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I just found a bag of teeth...
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
